Anna Murray Douglass–A Twenty-First Century Sister? by Jewell Parker Rhodes

There is no question that if I were married to a philandering Frederick  Douglass in 2008, I would have my lawyer serve him with divorce  papers, change the locks on the house, and if he dared to come near me, I would  be tempted to hit him with a frying pan.  As a working woman, I would not take financial support for myself but I would for my five children.  And, yes, I would allow visitation rights because a child should know their father and I would trust my children especially as they grew older, to understand their father’s imperfections as well as his greatness.

For me, Anna Murray Douglass did what black women have always doneshe made the best of a bad situation.  This is NOT to imply that Anna was passivefar from it.  To my mind, Anna lived a principled life and unlike Freddy, became spiritually free because she valued herself and knew that self-worth and self-healing are the fundamentals for happiness and individual freedom.

Anna, a free Maryland woman of color, did not become enslaved by love to an ex-slave man.  Instead, she kept her head up and loved herself and her family.

It seems clear that without Anna’s help Frederick Douglass might not have made a successful escape North.  It was Anna who helped finance  Frederick’s escape from slavery, sewed him a seaman uniform as  ‘camouflage,’ and was most likely pregnant before marriage.  (Can you imagine the anxiety of her days?  Her waiting to see if Frederick would send for her?)

Yet Anna’s possible early sexual relations (subject to condemnation  in the nineteenth century) tells me that Anna once ‘in love,’ ‘in  a relationship,’ committed herself body and soul and cared less about  the world’s judgment than about her personal values and choices.   Just as Anna courageously risked jail for helping a slave escape, she risked her body and soul for the man she believed in–.does it matter that Frederick never publicly said ‘thank you’?  No.  As a woman she made her choice based upon her values.  Perhaps Frederick did say ‘thank you’ in private (good for him) but Anna acted from her own heart and took responsibility for her actions.  The world’s opinion (and even her husband’s) mattered less than her own conscience.

It is true that Anna was seven years older than Frederick and many shades darker.  While these physical details might seem irrelevant today, the nineteenth century with its color prejudice and bias against mature women, might have made Anna feel less secure.   Yet, somehow, I doubt  it.  I believe Anna knew she was beautiful and despite a world that may have told her that she was ‘too dark,’ ‘too old’ she succeeded in having the marriage and the family she wanted.  It was Frederick Douglass who failed himself and their marriage.  Not Anna.

Frederick Douglass often said that ‘reading freed him.’  Reading and literacy have always been important to African Americans, especially given that reading and writing were forbidden in slavery.  Yet Anna Douglass remained illiterate. As an educated woman, it bothered me that  Anna did not learn to read or write.  But like my Grandmother Ernestine who never finished fifth grade, (read: PORCH STORIES: A GRANDMOTHER’S GUIDE TO HAPPINESS) often said: ‘book smart’ and ‘life smart’ can be two very different things.  And like a good twenty-first century woman, Anna insisted that her children be well-educated.

For me, Anna’s personal choice to remain illiterate signified a passive-aggressive reaction to Frederick’s frequent absences, his infidelities, and his sense that she was, as he often suggested, ‘an old black log.’   Anna’s illiteracy was an attempt to remind Douglass that  her ‘woman’s work’ –caring for sick children, gardening was significant.  It was Anna who rebuilt their home when Klansmen burnt it, Anna who nursed and buried her second daughter when Frederick was in Europe.  Anna, who kept the family fed.

Would the course of Anna’s and Douglass’ marriage have been different if she had shared Douglass’s love of rhetoric and books?  Maybe.   But, in my imaginative realm, Anna is stubborn:  ‘If I was good enough before I was married, why wasn’t I good enough after?’

As a twenty-first century woman, I would not continue sexual relations with an unfaithful husband.  Anna did.  This makes sense because, in the nineteenth century, Anna could not divorce Frederick.  If she had left Frederick, he would have kept all the money, their home, and, most importantly, their children.  Having sex with Frederick meant having what she valued most–an opportunity to have more children and to raise them well.  From an evolutionary perspective, Frederick was great father material–smart, handsome, and healthy.  And quite frankly, I am proud that Anna had sense enough to engage in sexual play with a hunk.    Why deny yourself pleasure?  (And like the great woman she was, Anna did not break her marital vows.  As my Grandmother said, ‘Two wrongs never make a right!’)

Without question, I would divorce my unfaithful spouse.  Yet, in every other way, I like to think I would respond as well as Anna did in caring for herself and her children.  Anna remained righteous.  She remained free.  In 2008, I have no problem imagining Anna attracting the right man.

She demonstrated that once she loved, she loved well–giving both body and soul.   The only difference is that in 2008, Anna would not have to endure a fool–she might even find a man smart enough to  recognize what she knew all along–that an entire world was inside her,  deep, abiding, and sensual.  A world too big, in my view, for any one man to know.

Jewel Parker Rhodes is the author of the riveting and thought-provoking and highly recommended novel titled the Douglass Women.

Visit Jewel on the Web:  www.jewelparkerrhodes.com

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