Comments on: Double Standards: (Playa vs. Ho) by Rambling Raven

By: Uranie

Uranie — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 16:00:02 +0000

Thats the key Djuanna “mind your own business” LOL Folks are way too nosy for me.

By: Phyllis

Phyllis — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 13:18:21 +0000

Great post Raven and excellent commentaries ladies!

By: Linda Chavis

Linda Chavis — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 02:37:22 +0000

Excellent post and comments

By: APOOO

APOOO — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 21:33:16 +0000

I’ve got bigger fish to fry- like how are we going to give every child in this country a good education and a fighting chance, ending racism, sexism, civil injustice, and domestic violence, world peace, and saving the planet. I’m not kidding.

Alright now…and loved your commentary…lots of good points expressed.

By: Djuanna

Djuanna — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 19:44:22 +0000

Years ago, my friend Ivan (a gay male) told me that unless someone was feeding, financing, or f*cking him, he didn’t care what they thought. I amended it to someone has to be doing all three for me, and I still wouldn’t care what they think. LOL. I’m just saying.

But seriously, I decided a long time ago that I would not live my life worrying about what other people are saying about me. The flip side of that is that I had to give up worrying about what other people are doing with their lives. Minding other people’s business is a great way to keep ourselves entertained and to continue to live an unexamined life. And that’s all that a double standard is- an opportunity to throw stones while hiding our hands. If women and men are “out there” and being sexually and socially responsible (no unwanted pregnancies, no sexually transmitted infections, consensual sex, partners who are of legal age, and truthfulness with one another about what is going on- multiple partners, same sex partners, etc.) then I don’t give a rip one way or the other. I’ve got bigger fish to fry- like how are we going to give every child in this country a good education and a fighting chance, ending racism, sexism, civil injustice, and domestic violence, world peace, and saving the planet. I’m not kidding.

But responsibility also entails discretion. If we are friends and you are telling me your business, cool. If we are co-workers without a relationship outside of work and you are telling me your business- not cool. Male or female. If we are friends, I’m not going to judge you. If I think you are heading down a slippery slope, I’ll let you know that- out of love, but still no judgement. If we are acquaintances, then I’m probably going to pull your coat tail in terms of putting your business out there, but not your business in general.

But that’s just me.

Thanks for getting me out of my Monday afternoon monotony. LOL

Djuanna´s last blog post..Weekend In Review

By: APOOO

APOOO — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 19:21:32 +0000

Raven…sistas need to work it out…we need to stop berating or judging women different from men…now if we’re an equal opportunity hata’ like Dera (hehe) I have no problem…but to think a man is a playa and a woman is a ho’…I have a problem with that…why can’t a sista enjoy sex and get her freak on with whomever too…

By: Raven

Raven — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 19:10:14 +0000

Yamin, I think the killing part of my little social project was that it was the WOMEN who were the most hateful toward the female in question. And as for women who get their freak on, one thing I learned a looooooonnnnngggg time ago to keep my business to myself. And to DEMAND the guy I was with to do the same. If I even thought someone knew personal stuff, it was ooooooooonnnnnnnnnn!!! LOL

By: APOOO

APOOO — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 19:01:58 +0000

What folks don’t know they won’t have to judge.

Uranie, yep, yep and I venture to say there are probably more women getting their freak on…they just ain’t telling everyone because they know how men and women would perceive them.

Raven…it’s a shame that they’re not treated equally…dang even sistas be hatin’…lol.

By: Uranie

Uranie — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 18:55:40 +0000

Great as always Raven. Unfortunately I don’t think this double standard will ever go away. Men will always think this way. Like Yas said women have to keep their “business” to themselves. What folks don’t know they won’t have to judge.

By: Raven

Raven — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 18:51:11 +0000

The problem with both of these individuals is that they have no shame about their game and are very open about their escapades. The only difference is that the female is judged harshly while the male’s escapades are laughed at and excused.