Lessons Learned In 2008 by Rambling Raven

Yet another year is quickly coming to an end. And everywhere you look there are lists. Every media outlet is making some sort of top-ten list they believe can sum up the year. We are often entertained by these lists and debate what should or should not be on them. I have enjoyed them and so I decided to come up with my own. However, I wanted mines to reflect personal growth.

My journey back through 2008 is one that is a mixed bag of personal triumphs and tribulations. I know I can not sum up everything that happened on a short list, but I did come up with a few lessons that were learned After all, when looking back on anything in life, the hope is to have come out of it a bit wiser than you entered it. So, here is my list of lessons learned in 2008:

10. It is never too late to reconnect with people from the past. Although time may pass, true friendship never dies. I was able to reconnect with a friend who I lost touch with a few years ago when she moved back to Jamaica. One day, out of the blue, she called and we talked for hours. It was as if no time lapsed between our last meetings. I have vowed to never lose touch again. She has been a great friend who is full of energy, and wisdom. If nothing else it is fun to get an international perspective on things.

9. Laugh everyday. Life is too short to take seriously. I think I was born serious. I am just now learning that you really can’t worry about every little thing. I learned to let loose a little and just laugh. There is joy to be found around me daily and it would be a shame not to take pleasure in it all.

8. Slow and steady wins the race. In 2008 I decided to tackle those pesky pounds I needed to lose. I, along with several other women at work, decided to form a mini support group to tackle weight loss. Everyone started off all gun ho, but eventually people fell off by the wayside. Only I and one other co-worker were able to stick to our goals. We didn’t try to drop the pounds by a given date or for some outside reason. We took it slow, one day at a time, and we did it for ourselves. I still have a little ways to go to get that toned body I want. I now know that it is just fine if it takes me a year or two to get there, just as long as I get there. Slow and steady wins the race,

7. The older I get the less I care about what others think. In 2008 I went completely natural with my hair. I can kick myself for not doing it sooner. I finally realized that I was more concerned with how I looked to others than I was with pleasing myself. I have friends and family who have frowned at natural hair and I let that affect my decision. I always admired black women with natural hair styles. And a fine dressed black man with well manicured locs always put a smile on my face. In August, I said to hell with it all and got my natural hair twisted. I loved it immediately. I braced myself for the comments I was sure to get. Funny thing is, most people loved it and two went and got their own hair twisted.  I realized that when it comes to my own personal style, I don’t need to please anyone but myself. Wow, that took a long time coming.

6. Marriage is something that you have to work at, everyday. I learned in 2008 from four couples I know personally, that marriage can be very difficult. I finally understand that in order to be happily married, you have to work at it. Sadly too many folk don’t want to put in the work. Many marry for the wrong reasons, and eventually that comes back to haunt them. Spouses are suppose to enhance one another not rely upon the other for their sole happiness and well being. People need to learn to love and know self first, then seek someone to share life with.

5. Age ain’t nothing but a number. I have seen more fantastic women in their forties and beyond than ever before. Forty is the new twenty. You certainly can age with beauty, grace and a whole lot of fun. 2008 saw a slew of woman who refused to be overlooked because they weren’t twenty-something. From magazine covers to leading roles, the ladies in their forties and beyond were out in force. And black women were leading the way; from Halle Berry, to Michele Obama the sistas were radiant this year. 

4. Shit happens.  You just have to be prepared as best you can. Who would have thought that the economy in 2008 would end up being one of the worst in recent history? A fear of a second depression was on the horizon. You can never predict what hardships life can bring you. The best you can do is to get through it the best way you can.

3. Only I can stand in the way of achieving my life goals.  I have a friend who left Chicago nearly three years ago. She blamed everyone and everything for the mess she found her life to be. 2008 found this same friend complaining about the same issues in a different location. Sadly, she refuses to listen to the fact that she, not everyone else, is the problem. I learned from her situation to stop blaming others for my shortcomings. If I haven’t found personal and professional happiness I have no one to blame but the woman in the mirror.

2. Take a leap of faith. In 2008, I have thrown caution to the wind more than ever before. I must say, I have been relatively pleased with the outcome of decisions I didn’t mull over forever. I’m not ready to live life on the edge just yet but I can get use to taking a few risks here and there.

1. YES WE CAN!!!  I witnessed a sign of change in this world with the election of America’s first black president. There are still hurdles to jump but they don’t seem so impossible now. I now believe that all things are possible, you just have to work to make it happen.

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