Last week, I asked you to get a notebook and start documenting all those ‘shoulds’ you have and all the things you’re tolerating about your life. How’d you do? Hopefully, you’ve had a little more peace this week having cleared out that mental clutter.

This list you’ve created could also be called a list of your tolerations. Tolerations? Yes, those things that annoy you, that you put up with anyway. The compromises you’ve made, the things you turn a blind eye or a deaf ear to so you can get through life.

Your tolerations have a payoff, or you wouldn’t be tolerating them. But they also have a cost. Just because the cost is not money, time or resources doesn’t mean the cost is not high. Sometimes the cost is intangible, such as space, timing, energy, peace of mind or self-esteem, but high, nonetheless.

You sit down to read a good book and suddenly, distractions are everywhere. The kids are whooping and hollering, the neighbor fires up the lawn mower and the city street crew picks now to fix the pothole in front of your house. Not one to give up easily, you do your best to tune all this out and read, anyway. But now part of your energy is going into tuning into the book and a good chunk is going into tuning out the world. You are working hard to ignore so you can pay attention. In the same way, tolerations make you block out a lot of what makes you happy because you’re trying not to be affected by what annoys you.

What we tolerate drains us of energy we could put to better use creating what makes us happy. If you’re worried that eliminating your tolerations will make you an intolerant person, fear not. An intolerant person refuses to allow others the enjoyment and equal freedom of expression of their opinions, rights or beliefs. Eliminating your tolerations means that you don’t put up with either people’s behavior, or with situations, when they are bad for you. You can be tolerant and eliminate your tolerations at the same time.

Living with your tolerations is like living life with the brakes on. They hold you back, create friction, sap energy and keep you from living your best life. They also are great indicators of areas that need strengthening. Take time this week to look at what you can learn about yourself from the things you are tolerating.

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