Love Doesn’t Live Here Anymore
By APOOO • Jan 26th, 2009 • Category: Thinking Out Loud •
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I didn’t sleep well last night.
Watched an episode of Law & Order/ SVU and the outcome un-nerved me.
Those who are SVU fans have probably seen this episode before as it was a re-run. It first aired in January 2007. (I love Google for searches…lol). For me, it was my first time watching it.
The episode featured Blair Underwood and Michael Michele. Sound familiar to anyone? Here’s a few more details. These two were married, now separated and going through a divorce…although I thought they were already divorced…either way…they’re no longer in love…but they shared a 12 year-old daughter. Underwood’s character abused drugs and alcohol, and, as such, he could only have supervised visits with his daughter. A daughter who adores him and waned to know what is a headhunter. Which kicked off a chain of nasty events. Seems mom, an attorney, was planning to relocate to Dallas…and she wasn’t telling nobody…and daughter wasn’t supposed to either.
Fast forward, dad’s upset, he breaks into the house, roughs up the mom but doesn’t hurt her…yet. She reports the situation, the next day, and adds rape to the charges. Underwood is picked up, jailed with a $500k bail. Lot of dayum money…but his parents bail him out. He’s pissed with his ex (or soon to be)-wife and goes on the warpath to find her. When he does, he douses here with gasoline and sets her on fire! WTF type of sheyt is that! Now, how horrible is that?!?!
Even tho’ it was only a show…watching someone with third degree burns over 80% of their body…in shock…basically shutting down…real or not…it touched a nerve with me. But, even more so, I was appalled at the actions of the father, especially since everyone knows it was him, he would be the first suspect. And, he had to know, they would catch his arze…eventually.
I’m thinking, your ex is going to die (she did), your arze is going to jail, and the daughter you love, might hate you later when she finds out that you were the cause of her mother’s death. So, now your daughter is basically going to be an orphan, if she’s lucky raised by loving grandparents, if not, placed in foster care. What type of sheyt is that? Does that make any sense?
The more I thought about…I thought…no loving MOM would ever do something as asinine as set her ex on fire? Or would we, ladies? Yes, his ex lied on him …and SHE WAS WRONG…because women who lie about rape make it bad for women who have been or ever will be. Side note: the rape story seemed weak, I don’t remember them doing a pelvis exam on the wife…hmmm…seems like they could have checked for credibility. But, that aside, that didn’t give Underwood’s character the right to kill his ex.
I’m not sure of why this show affected me so much…and I can’t believe I’m still thinking about it. Wonder if I’m PMSing…lol. I guess the fact that this little girl went from having two loving parents…to basically neither of her parents…because their hate for each other…was greater than their love for her…bothered me.
Neither of them thought about the outcome of their actions. Too often adults make decisions without considering how it will impact kids. This was a prime example, it seemed, of two selfish individuals supposed acting out of love on behalf of their child. Unfortunately, given how far it went, I found it hard to feel very remorseful to either of them…especially when even on her dying bed, the wife still said that he raped her. How warped was that. What say U? The truth does surface…or as they say what’s done in the dark will come to the light. CLICK HERE to get more details regarding that particular episode, and if you saw this episode and want to share your comments regarding it or just want to leave your remarks (regarding this post), please leave them in the comment section below.
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It’s a thin line between sanity & insanity.
Yes I saw that episode twice.
II saw a show where a separated hubby threw gasoline on his wife and she lived. I think this was Oprah or Maury. I was channel surfing and ran into it. I was appaled at what happened, and felt sorry for the horrendous burns she suffered.
I was shocked at the stupid things adults can do to each other. The episode was believable because of what had happened in real life, and I think it was based on the real life episode.
I saw that episode; it made me sick. Both of the people were pathologically self-absorbed. They were poison and hatred walking around on two feet. Still, setting her on fire was inexcusable. That happened to two women in the metro area. The 911 tape was horrifble.
Yes, ladies something about seeing it up close and personal does crawl under one’s skin, but even more importantly in this case, they both obviously loved their daughter but they couldn’t seem to get beyond their own self-interest/hatred of each other to know what their actions would have on her…it’s sad when kids suffer because of adult stupidity. Sigh.
I knew someone personally who I plan to write about one day, who set himself and his two beautiful children on fire and burned them up to spite the mother. It pains me to type this
I love Law and Order SVU. In fact I like all the Law and Orders. I didn’t see this episode but it shows how love can so quickly turn to hate. I’m a peacful person so I can’t even imagine the thinking behind such a horrible act. I don’t know how you can hate the mother of your child to the point that you want to cause bodily harm, and actually do it. Sad thing about it all is that most of the story lines from the show are actually ripped from the headlines.I think that conflict resolution skills should be a mandatory course in our schools. Too many people do not know how to deal with heartache and rejections.
Linda, oh my gosh!
Raven, I’m with you…I just can’t imagine that kind of hate…I don’t even wish stuff like that on people that I don’t like…and yes conflict resolution skills s/b mandatory.
Yes, I saw this episode some years ago when it first aired. It was pretty bad and yes, based on a true story. Pretty deep.
I am a Law and Order(all of them) junkie, but I missed this show. That is sad and something I could not even imagine doing to another human.
Lashonda Silver´s last blog post..Change is good
Rhonda…I just can’t believe that anyone can be that hateful…I know some folks are…but it’s such a tragedy.
I saw this episode also and as the other poster said this is true because Oprah did have a lady on her show that this had happen to in real life, this is so sad that people that are in love and have kids would do this and not think what effect this have on the children but it seems stuff is just happening now and it is so horrible.
Hi, I think I saw the same rerun as you – I found your site while looking up the episode on Google! I was really affected by the episode, as well, and I wasn’t immediately sure why. I was actually so bothered that I had to put a lot of effort into distracting myself before I went to sleep.
My roommate & I watched the episode together, & I kept commenting on how it was a little manipulative to have Blair Underwood play the husband. We know former drug addicts, & if the character was supposed to have been high in front of the daughter & smashing up the house, he wouldn’t at a later point be as good-looking & well-spoken as Blair Underwood. I think they had to get someone as charismatic & attractive as Underwood to make the character somewhat sympathetic.
I actually thought the episode was over, then it was revealed that the wife slept with that guy from her lawyer’s office – I might have missed something, but I didn’t get how that proved that she lied about being raped. It is possible to have consensual sex, & then later be raped. I was very confused about that.
I didn’t really find too much wrong with the mom’s actions, though the show obviously wanted me to do so. Even though there was already a restraining order, it wasn’t helping, because her husband still found out wherever she was living at the time, & had no qualms about busting into the house. He goes so far as to put a GPS tracking device on the social worker’s car to find them, and even assaults her when she’s in the shower – that all says extremely dangerous & psycho to me. So if nothing else is working, nothing is keeping her & her daughter safe, I don’t find a fake rape charge to be so terribly heinous (though the fake part wasn’t really proven, to me). It’s definitely not on par with what her husband did, & could even be seen as more of an attempt at self-defense. Lying is wrong, but in a system where women receive little help against abusive partners, you have to do what gets results.
I think this episode was so unsettling because it CAN happen. It reminded me of the documentary Crazy Love – about the Pugach couple. The man hired a thug to throw acid in the woman’s face, but they later got married, because the woman didn’t want to end up completely alone. It’s also a horrible story, that still disturbs me.
Wow, this is a hugely long comment, sorry. Can you tell I majored in Gender Studies?? But I’m happy to know that someone else was unsettled by this episode, & I love your blog.
I’ve seen this episode several times. It was disturbing for all the reasons you mention. Unfortunately, it appears, when someone is mentally disturbed, all they can think of is revenge. The mother was made to look manipulative and self-centered; I guess she couldn’t be free of blame.
I didn’t know this particular case but Law & Order is known for basing their stories on real life events. I’m waiting for them to do one on this mess in Oakland with the cop shooting an unharmed black man in the back. (sigh)
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Lisa, thanks for finding APOOO and stopping by. I enjoyed reading your comment…and didn’t mind the length. You made some excellent points and felt the show did skew the facts to really point blame at both parties. Now that I think about it…I didn’t find the child to be as innocent as portrayed either…actually I thought she was quite astute for a 12 year-old…LOL. I hope this show rewinds again because I need to see it with a fresh set of eyes and in light of the points you made above.
Dera, that situation in Oakland was just so blatant and in your face…I watched it and couldn’
t believe it…so I can only imagine what they do when their’s no one watching!
I saw that episode a couple of months ago. Unnerved me too.
I remember thinking as I watched that maybe he hadn’t raped the wife, maybe he didn’t do what she was accusing him of, because he was so polished. But that was exactly the point. Because you can’t tell a book by its cover. And I have known some very well-dressed, articulate druggies. (Hey, I’m an Ivy-league grad.) So it was freaky but realistic, even with his good looks, from my standpoint. ‘Cuz crazy is as crazy does.
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Patricia…I hear you on ‘cuz crazy is as crazy does’…and there are some functional druggies out there.
I did see that episode but it was months ago so it isn’t fresh in my mind. I agree with all the comments
hmmm, I agree, this show stays with me too, and I don’t know why, but its deeply disturbing overall. I can’t believe the lies and deception and level of hostility between the two of them. Makes me never want to reproduce with anyone if things can go south like this.