“Sometimes we get so caught up in looking for the big example, we lose sight of the people who in their daily lives stand up for whatever they believe.”

–BlackMenThinking.net

I’m a net surfer.  I spend a lot of time online answering/writing emails,  doing research, investigating stuff, verifying information.  As I was carousing the ‘net today I came across a great video which pays tribute to African-American male role models.  Fathers. Father Figures.  Men Taking Care of Business.  Men in Charge.  While the video mainly featured celebrities (their pictures are easy to find online…lol), I substituted images of all the ordinary men in my life who have done extraordinary things.

My grandfather who stepped up (along with my grandmother) and adopted me when I was a small tot. When he died, our home was already paid for so I never had to worry about being homeless and he left behind life insurance and social security dependent benefits to take care of the rest.  He was the first man to show me love, and although I was only 6 when he died, his legacy set the bar of what it meant to be a man, father and provider.

From the ages of 8 -16, I had an uncle (by marriage even after he and my aunt split he was still in our lives)  who was better than rapid transit services.  No matter what he was doing… he would stop (or if it was something that would not take long, he would finish what he started…lol) and come and pick me up or take me to wherever I needed to go.

When I decided to travel 3,000 miles away to attend my undergrad alma mater, I had another uncle who stepped in and made sure that I always had money in my pockets for incidentals and necessary items. (Now if I wanted a party dress I was on my own…lol.)  Now mine you …my aunt/his wife would say…’honey I need to send Yasmin some money this week’…and my uncle never said you can’t take money from OUR household to support YOUR niece.  See although he is my uncle by marriage, he has never treated me as though I am not from his family tree.  After over 40 years, you would think that he was my blood uncle (I’m closer to him than I am to my mother’s brothers)  because he has loved me and continues to love me as much as my biological aunt does.

Thirty-two years ago, as a lost freshmen on a campus of over 10,000 students (that was big then),  I met a wonderful, witty, wise, six-packed filled,’ looks to die for brotha’ who would be my best friend for 12 years and best friend and fiancé for two (2) years—for a total of 14 years before his untimely death due to a drunk driver.  (Yea she walked away with nary a scare…sigh).  I was crushed, shocked, angry, comatose, depressed and basically just wanted to call it quits after his death.  But God had other plans.  He introduced me to a friend, who would later become my husband—Rick Coleman. 

Initially, when my husband came calling– I didn’t take him serious.  LOL.  At the time, he was a vendor for the company that I worked for, and when he asked me to lunch, I assumed it was because he was trying to get some business.  Well, the brotha was trying to get some business but of the little sum sumthin’ kind…lol.  I was a little hesitant about giving him any of my personal time or attention, because I figured one only got one chance at the love of their life and mine had his life snatched away.

But, my husband-to-be was patient.  Kind.  Compassionate. Good Company.  Intelligent.  Hard-working.  Witty.  Enjoyed doing a lot of the same things I did and was proposing to me three months after our first date.  I was smitten and said yes and we were married nine months after our first date.

17 years later, two c-sections, two children, two houses, a cat named Merlyn, a dog named Jackson replaced by a dog names Apooo,  his father’s death, my mother’s death, putting his first child (daughter ) through college, five (5) job changes between the two of us, numerous vacations with and without the kids, too many cars to count (thank God we got rid of the Jeep/SUV…hehe), (he) late nights with sick kids, (him) transporting kids to tons of activities,  (him)many dinners started and finished before I ever got home, him doing more than his fair share of the work with the kids when they were younger and I was trying to push up again the glass ceiling, him supporting, encouraging and cheering me on with every venture I undertook (some which were not as prosperous as others), and everything in between–I thank God everyday for bringing him/Rick into my life and reminding me that when one door closest, if only one believes and has faith, another door will one.  There are millions of good men in our midst; and whenever we get the opportunity to pay tribute to them we should.  So today, I pay tribute to all the black men in my life and dedicate this video (source:  www.blackmanthinking.net) to them.

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