Have You Missed Your Calling? by Rambling Raven
By Raven • Mar 2nd, 2009 • Category: Rambling Raven •
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Have You Missed Your Calling? by Rambling Raven
I have always wanted to be a writer for as long as I can remember. I still can vividly recall the very first piece I ever wrote. I was seven years old. My mother was doing the laundry one evening and she had one of her favorite police dramas on the television. My mother loved them all: Police Woman, Starsky and Hutch, Baretta, Charlie’s Angels, Barnaby Jones, Murder She Wrote, etc. To this day she is a huge fan of all the Law & Orders, CSIs and even America’s Most Wanted. As my mom went from the basement to the living room between commercials, I decided to write her a police story.
I wrote about an escaped criminal who had an A.P.B. out on him. Mind you, I didn’t know what A.P.B. stood for. I had heard it so often from those police dramas that I knew that whenever the good guys were out to get the bad guys they put an A.P.B out on him. My little story lasted for a whole page and in the end the police got their man.
Upon finishing I ran to my mother and presented her with her very own police drama. I wasn’t prepared for what she did next. After reading the story she looked at me and asked did I copy it from anywhere. I told her no. She then looked at me and smiled and said that it was so good that I should be a writer for one of the television shows she loved. Now, of course my mother was being a mom. But at that moment her words to me swelled me with pride. It sounded so good to me. Was it possible that I could actually be a writer and actually see my characters on television? My mother who loved books and all those police dramas loved my story and actually showed it to my dad. Right then and there I knew what it was in life I wanted to do. From then on I continued to write. I won essay competitions at school. I had an essay about a field trip read aloud to my classmates by my teacher. And I wrote a ghost story that my father loved so much that he actually helped me edit it. So what happened?
I grew up and although I held on to my dreams of writing novels, people around me began to steer me in more “realistic” directions. My counselor in high school thought I should have a “B” plan, because artistic careers were very tough to break into. My dear old grandmother, who meant the world to me, thought it would be fine to take one or two creative writing courses in college, but I needed a “real” job. After all, most writers either never achieved major success or were dead by the time their writings received the accolades it deserved. And, she reminded me; I worked too hard in school and was an example to my younger sisters, therefore, I needed to pursue a “real” profession. Several other family members also expressed their concern that I pursue a more realistic career. They suggested that I do the “writing thing” on the side. I surely thought they knew more than me and had my best interest in mind.
College came and the only thing I was even remotely interested in was psychology. I did take the occasional writing class, although by that time my enthusiasm for writing had waned a bit. Before I knew it, I had a degree in psychology and was seeking a M.A. in education. A teacher, I couldn’t believe it? It seemed like a natural career to gravitate to because I had several aunts who were in the profession. They seemed happy and dedicated and in the end they were doing something good. I could make a difference, right?
Boy, I wished I had the courage to live my life as a starving writer. Although teaching has great rewards, it is a thankless profession. You are blamed for the ills of society, few people seem to respect the profession and everyone think they can do the job better. It is amazing. It makes me wonder did I really miss my calling. I have an overactive imagination (my dreams are more entertaining than most shows on television), I love to put pen to paper and I am an avid reader. I look around me and I find so many others who seem to have missed their calling as well.
I have a co-worker who loves decorating. She is so great at it that others seek her help in decorating classrooms, offices, and bulletin boards. Any event that we have at the school she is asked to provide the decorations. She has such a niche for it that it is hard to believe that she isn’t a decorator. When asked why she didn’t pursue decorating as a profession she giggles and says that it wasn’t a profession she thought she could actually break into.
I have two friends who sing beautifully. These women don’t just sing-they can SANG. I had always thought that if I could blow like they can, I would be out there trying to become the next Mariah. Upon questioning them about their career choices, I get a very familiar story. Singing is a passion but because it is so competitive and the industry is youth and sex driven it is too difficult to make a career of it, even if you do have true talent. So for them, singing in church and at family events is as far as it goes.
My hair stylist’s mother is 65. She is a fantastic artist. My stylist’s shop is decorated with her mother’s paintings. Most people who come into the shop inquire about the artist. The pictures are so good they look as if a professional artist did them, instead of a little old grandmother. I asked why the mother never pursued a career as an artist. I was told that life got in the way. Children had to be fed and bills had to be paid. Sitting and waiting to get discovered as an artist was not an option.
The sad truth is that I believe that most of us are just clocking in to an eight hour job for the money or because making a “respectable” living is defined to us by society. Pursuing a career in the arts is often frowned upon because the competition is deemed too great, and there are no guarantees that you can make a living from it. Who wants to end up an unemployed, aging artist? Status, money and respect are very important to all of us. It is easier to clock in for eight hours at a job you hate but go home with a paycheck and benefits than it is to struggle to make a living from painting. It is also a lot easier to give in to the people who appear to have your best interest at heart than it is to pursue a whacky dream like singing.
However those dreams and desires never seem to go away. I still dream about writing professionally, and have a ton of outlines to stories that have been playing in my head for a lifetime now. Looking back I wonder if my mother missed her calling. Due to pressure, family obligations and lack of resources, did my mom miss her calling as a criminal investigator? Was she living out her dreams vicariously through mystery novels and police dramas? Have you missed your calling? Are your true talents regulated to weekend hobbies? Do you have a lot of should have been/could have been regrets?
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Raven is an educator with a B.A. in Psychology and a M.A. in Education. She has been an avid reader since childhood. Her favorite genres are mystery, suspense, and horror, although she will give any genre a try. She is a life long resident of Chicago. Her love of books opened her mind to people, places and events far beyond her Chicago home. Reading helped to shape her world and her opinion of the events that took place within it. No matter what demands her career requires of her, she has always found time to read and write in a journal. Along with reading and journaling, she loves to watch the sunset, and discuss hot topics with family and friends. She loves baseball, horror movies, mysteries, listening to music from every corner of the world and expressing her view of the latest books with the women of APOOO.
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Yes, Raven I did miss my calling. I too wanted to be a writer and was told by teachers I could be one. I wrote poetry and short stories. I think part of the reason I pushed it to the side was because no one in my family acknowledged my talent. I needed that. But now that I know better, I do write when I have time and hope to one day have my stories read by many. Now my mother loves my stories and think the same thing, so I guess it wasn’t my time.
I also knew I wanted to be a teacher, but like you said they are not thanked properly and I heard from many the pay was not worth the work. But I am in school now to become one of the unsung heroes. I don’t mind that I just want to make a difference in a youngster’s mind.
I missed my calling several times over, but I’m making the necessary steps to correct it.
Jennifer C.´s last blog post..Worth More Than a Penny
Great topic Raven!
Jennifer C.´s last blog post..Worth More Than a Penny
Hey Raven,
I am one of those starving writing artists. I became published fo rthe first time as a co-author, but I am going into my 16th year as a news correspondent for a local major newspaper. I also freelance for a few magazines. I too have a vivid, technicolor imagination and can create so many stories and have done so since childhood. When i told my mother I wanted to be a writer or an artist, she scolded me and said I needed to be a nurse or working in the office. I was hurt and upset. My mother apologized to me days before she died 10 years ago. She admitted to reading my articles and was proud of me.
my high school counselor laughed at me when I said I was going to be a reporter…imagine his shock when I showed up at his house years later to interview him about a reward he received.
I fought those who doubt me and when I told certain family members I was co-writing a friend’s memoir, it was a ‘yeah, right’ type of reaction. “Unflappable” was released in September 2008 and most recently my older sister wants me to write ‘her story’ and is trying to push in my head that my friend used me and could have easily let me just have my name on the book cover. First of all, the friend approached me and we discussed it numerous times before we agreed in a contract what would be what. My sister I suspect has some green issues because I am doing what God blessed me to do.
If the urge to write your stories and put them out there is strong, by all means, answer that urge. write notes down. put them together in story form. search and ask those in writing some suggestions for publishing companies or ideas on self publishing. Don’t look back and say I should have…I didn’t. And I am working on fiction pieces as we speak. And plan to find a publisher or self publish…while scrapping my bread and butter with the newspaper.
Jennifer and Lisa, thanks for the great comments. I think I should have titled this piece A Dream Deferred. It seems that many folk out there squash the dreams of youngsters, although they have their best interest at heart. I understand what my grandmother and others were trying to do. Breaking into any creative art career is dificult. Yet, I think to some istead of coming across as concerned and supportive they often made my dream seem like a waste of time. I think that hurt the most.
I almost burst into tears reading this as you are so on point. You know I have wanted to write what I think is a great story as long as I have been in APOOO, before I found ya’ll and before that and it seems that “life” keeps getting in the way. I am trying to encourage my grands and other children I come in contact to do what they like.
I wanted to be a writer. I always kept a journal and when I started sharing my writing with others I won contest in school. I set out a student a Rutgers to become a lawyer. Being a teen mom and going to colelge proved harder than I thought it would be and I stopped going to school to work and be a mom. I am now enrolling back into school to complete my degree. I do still write and have often wondered how it would feel to actually see my name on a book. maybe one day.
Thankfully, I am living my dream of being a published writer….but it wasn’t an easy journey because my mom was of the mindset that I needed a “real job”. She always said writing could never pay the bills. She’s the main one now talking about “When you gon’ buy your mama a car.” But at the time, she didn’t feel my dream. Honestly, no one did. After all, I had a great job as a TV news reporter and I had to “be on crack to want to leave that.” But I beleived in my my dream and knew that if I worked hard, had a plan, then made it happen, sonner or later, everybody would get on board. Thankfully, they all tell me now they’re glad I didnt listen to the negativity.
I think there are a lot of us out here. I never had the chace to go to college. Not to say that college is the answer.
I have spend my life trying to live the american dream. What a night mare !!!
I have spent a lot of time trying to impress people I don’t even like & buying things I don’t even need.
Most of my time was spent in the business world chasing a buck. Guess that’s what business people do. Only to find the money and the things it buys are just that…….Things.
I did learn to play the saxophone. I got pretty good too. Actually played out last night.
Guess what I learned from all of it is follow your dreams, Don’t get too caught up in the delusion of the american dream.
If you don’t have a plan for your life…..life has a plan for you and sometimes they don’t line up.
I agree James. I think following the “American Dream” has meant, in so many cases, to pursue material things. Many of us give up on a dream because we are told it won’t bring in enough money. In many cases we have been conditioned to follow the almighty dollar instead of our hearts.