Phone A Friend by Djuanna Brockington
By Djuanna Brockington • Jan 16th, 2009 • Category: Musings of a Mid-Life Diva •
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I have this knack for knowing when I need to call someone. It just takes hold of me and won’t let me go until I make the call.
A few years ago, a very dear friend had a most hellacious year. We generally talked once a week or so and I knew that she was dealing with a serious depression. One particular day, I had the urge to call her from the minute my alarm clock went off. I literally woke up with her on my mind. After a very busy morning at work, I called her on my way back to my office from a meeting. I was sitting in the drive-thru line at McDonald’s when she picked up the phone. I could tell from “hello” that something was wrong.
Long story short, Girlfriend had planned her suicide for that afternoon. I called while she was prepping for it. She was very frank and detached when she told me what she was going to do before the kids got home from school.
She had a plan. She had notes written. She had her spot picked out.
I drove to the office, talking all the way. I never made it in the building. I sat in my car for two hours and talked, and talked, and talked. And listened, and listened, and listened.
By the end of that conversation, she promised me that she would call a counselor ASAP. I believed her. This woman does not break her promises, and I knew that she would keep her promise to me. I could feel it in my gut.
And she did. She called me the next morning to tell me that she had an appointment with a counselor.
She called me after her appointment to tell me that she did not like her. I told her to find another one.
She did.
And she got the help she needed.
The next time you get that urge to call a friend, whether you talked to them ten minutes ago, or ten years ago, do it. You never know. You might just be their life line.
While this wasn’t the funny post I had in mind for today, I’ve learned to trust my instincts.
Have you ever had that “feeling” and been really glad that you listened to it?
Djuanna Brockington
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Djuanna Brockington is a Southern Diva. Reading, writing, and running (on occasion) are her favorite things. Her short stories and novellas can be found on Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com. When not ranting on APOOO, she's ruminating on her own website: http://www.divafictionbytes.com
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Last February, it was a Saturday and I was driving to work. All of a sudden the need to pray hard came over me. I prayed for my favorite aunt, who at the time was in the hospital. She was very sick, and when people get sick, I being the fraidy cat that I am, usually pull away because I’m afraid of dealing with other people pain. My mother and I had been beefing, so I was praying for God to help me get past all of my issues. I’d also prayed for a woman I was working with whose sister was also very sick, and the woman had commented to me that she didn’t know what her sister could’ve done to have made her so ill. I was so bothered by her statement. Usually when I need help dealing with religion and prayer it’s always my aunt I run to. Well I called my mom’s house to apologize and couldn’t get her. I called her cell, my sisters’ cell, my brothers’ cell and couldn’t reach anyone. I knew something was wrong. My aunt, Peaches, not the same one, text me and asked what time I got off. First off I worked the same schedule so for her to text that question, I knew something was wrong. Secondly she was at my grandfather’s house on a Saturday something she didn’t do unless it was something wrong. I called my husband and told him that I knew something was wrong and I was afraid. He told me not to be afraid, but now that I think about it, he never told me that there was nothing wrong. I was walking to my car preparing to call friends because it was usually a long drive and this way once I got home I’d be just with the husband and kids. My husband called me and when I said okay I’ll call you back, refused to let me go saying, ’why can’t we talk.’ I thought that it was so cute. Not that he and I didn’t talk, but it was Saturday, he’d worked all week, had been with the kids all day and I just assumed he’d be engrossed in some sport or playing one of his video games. He met me at the door, still not unusual, because he always did. I live in a 2 flat, my grandfather lives on the first floor, but since my grandmother passed I rarely go inside because it’s too weird. My kids opened the door and my aunt and grandfather said, ‘hey, come in,’ another sign that there was something wrong. I spoke and kept up the steps to my apartment. My husband, who’ve I’ve been with for 15 years married 10, says ‘baby,’ that’s what he calls me, hence the moniker Nardsbaby, ‘go see what your auntie wants.’ Dare I say another sign that something was wrong! I looked at him and I could see it in his face that there was something wrong. Fear consumed me. My husband opened his mouth and told me my aunt had died. The aunt who I couldn’t walk in the building at work because the urge to pray was so strong. The aunt who when I heard her voice my heart ached because I could hear her pain. The aunt who always called me Crissy Poo and would quickly get me together when I was having a break down. The aunt who raised me. Taught me to tie my shoe. Helped me with any problem day or night. No matter she lived in California. She and I ran our phone bills up talking to one another. The aunt who I didn’t call because I was hurting. I assumed that I’d have more time and I can tell you that I cry on a regular basis racked with guilt because I never made that call! Realistically I know that I couldn’t have saved her, but I would’ve at the very least been able to share with her my thoughts. Told her I loved her. Let her know how very important she was in my life.
While I know that my story is the opposite of what Djuanna was speaking about… I can earnestly say that I wish that I had followed through and called my aunt. While it wouldn’t have changed anything, I would’ve at the very least had closure.
I have had the feeling many times, nothing as serious as what you mentioned, but, usually my gut tells me when my grown children need a phone call from me…
Blessings!
angelia
Angelia´s last blog post..We Learn As We Go!
That is a very powerful story. I don’t get strong urges to call. I normally have dreams that effect me in such a way that I need to remember them and act on them. My strongest was the night B4 I was to take the train to Charleston to see my grandmother, who was sick with cancer and dying, I woke up knowing in my heart that she was gone. My little sister called me to advise my grandmother passed.
Lashonda´s last blog post..Happy Founders Day to the ladies of Zeta Phi Beta Sorority
Crystal, I feel your pain and I know you’re hurting…now the Lord and your aunt know your heart…and they know how much you loved your aunt…so try not to be so hard on yourself…pray to both of them and ask forgiveness and release it into the universe…if you don’t it will eat you up…and also understand that everything happens for a reason…the Lord has you and he also wants you to know…:”I said I would never leave or forsake you. FEAR NOT.” Unfortunately, you didn’t get a chance to talk to your aunt…but because of what happened I don’t believe you will ever let the same thing happen again with another relative or friend. Remember all things work together for good for those who love the Lord and keep the faith sis. My deepest sympathys and sincerest prayers to you and your family during this time.
xoxo
@Crystal- thank you for sharing. I know that had to be hard. And this post is about listening to your gut. Yours was speaking to me, but in another way. And you ended up praying for a safe passage for your aunt- you just didn’t realize it at the time.
@Angelia- I’m better at knowing what my kid isn’t saying when we talk. It will be interesting when she leaves home.
@Lashonda- I get you on the dream thing. You dreamers are awesome. The Man is a dreamer and he will tell me his dreams at the beginning of the day, and by the end of the day it has happened. This has occured on too many occasions for me not to take it seriously.
@Yas- as always you have wonderful words of wisdom and comfort. That is why I love it over here at APOOO. You can just be yourself. And it’s all good.
Djuanna´s last blog post..Things I Drool Over
@ Crystal- I meant to say that your gut was speaking to you- I really don’t always believe it’s all about me. LOL
Djuanna´s last blog post..Things I Drool Over
I haven’t had a situation like that but it is best to follow your instincts. You never know who might be walking a tightrope.
Dera´s last blog post..Are Black Women Looking for a Heroine?
Djuanna…a friend in need…is in a friend indeed!
I’m happy to call you my friend and hope that we will weather the reason and the season…and be like the Golden Girls when we’re older….I hope we have the friendship of a lifetime…but, if not, I will always treasure that you were the BESTEST friend when I was in need.
xoxo
@ Yas- girl we are going to be old and crotchety together. Double trouble. No matter what. LOL
Djuanna´s last blog post..Things I Drool Over
I get that feeling all the time. and I always react, because I just never know. It is always the need for a phone call; sometimes I have an urge to email someone and when I do it was right on time. I never go against those instincts.
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