The Power of Fear by Djuanna Brockington
By Djuanna Brockington • Oct 10th, 2008 • Category: Free Flow Friday, Musings of a Mid-Life Diva •
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Fear is nature’s way of eliciting action. You stand your ground and slug it out with the source of your fear, or you haul ass until you find safety in order to regroup. Either way, you have to do something because just standing there and doing nothing may get you killed.
This is the image that has been in my head this week. I am dealing with my personal fears on every level right now.
This economy sucks, and there is no telling how long it will be before the turn around begins. And yet, I have the audacity to want to start a business right now. No further explaination needed.
My Diva in Training is morphing into a woman (physically) before my very eyes. Yet, every time I look at her, I see that adorable toddler who loved to wear dresses, tights, and Nike hiking boots. There have been periods in my single parenting where I have wished for time to move just a little faster so that I would not have to parent on a daily basis (’cause even when they’re 40, you are still parenting them- or so my mother tells me). And now I am fearful that she isn’t hearing a word I say because it’s not on her iPod or through her cell phone or during an IM conversation.
The Man is facing an opportunity that may change his life. I have encouraged him to follow the lead and see where it ends. Since I’ve never claimed to be the best at relationships, I’m fearful that he may think that this is my “exit” strategy, when truthfully, he’s the only man I can actually envision a real future with since my marriage ended. My “love ‘em and leave ‘em” reputation was well earned.
If you haven’t figured it out, I have lots of neurotic tendencies. I’m just saying.
So, with all this fear swirling about (my current sources for fear content: the web, television, NPR, my mother) one can understand why folks become immobile. But that is not what we are programmed to do. Fear has power and it forces us to take action. Well, since fleeing is not an option (am currently not the owner of a private island, but if anyone would like to donate one to me, I would gladly take it), I’m going to fight my way through it.
If you are able to recognize what is going on, you can use the power of fear to IMPROVE things.
I will move forward with my plans for my own business (albeit, cautiously).
I will keep talking to my kid and making a parental nuisance of myself. It’s my job, and just maybe something will sink in.
And I will continue to encourage The Man in his pursuits by supporting him in words and deeds.
I have a sense of purpose and determination. My life, my way.
Have you ever used fear to change your life in a positive way?
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Djuanna Brockington is is a Southern Diva who knows about mid-life. Once she hit her 40s, life as she knew it no longer made sense. What she wanted and what she was experiencing, both personally and professionally, were not matching up, so she started seeking change. Be careful what you wish for. After 19 years of service, Djuanna left full-time employment in the public sector for life as a consultant and writer. When she is not chasing the dollars to pay the bills, she is enjoying her family and friends, reading whatever she can get her hands on, and working on that elusive novel. Visit Djuanna on the web at http://www.divafictionbytes.com
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Have you ever used fear to change your life in a positive way?
I was in an abusive relationship from age 13 to 22. Fear was a constant companion - it became normal. On my 23rd birthday another type of fear inserted its way into my psyche. I was afraid of being afraid. I was scared out of my mind that pain would be my life and all that I would ever know is fear. That new fear prompted growth and gave me courage… isn’t that funny? I grew up because a fear. I discovered the power of choice.
People can only do to you what you allow them to do to you. It took me ten years to learn that lesson. Ten Years!
fear is a powerful agent of change. but from what i’ve observed, the power is fully realized only when we act on the fear with a focus on the right thing. Meaning, if we lose sight of the object or person upon which the action from fear should be placed, then the effect may not be what we expected, even though we have taken action.
if the object of my fear is governmental/economic enslavement, then i cannot take out my action on my family members or friends, or the local deli man. I cannot destroy my neighborhood or people physically, spiritually or emotionally, because I have a new level of fear, which is taking action against the government, or any other entity that is the real source of my fears.
some are so terrified of losing their lives (jobs, homes, etc.), that they tend to allow their souls to be taken instead. In my humble opinion, misplaced fear-actions can be even more dangerous than being inert. i value my soul above all else. and i believe there is a way to, if we truly dig deep to find it, to save our bodies, livelihood and our souls. in the end, if i had to pick only one, i would save my soul and allow the rest to die. because when all is said and done, and our life is near the end, what do we have??
i fearlessly step into saving my soul and battling the true object of my fears, come what may.
pittershawn´s last blog post..Freedom
Djuanna I thought the last paragraph of my daily devotion today was fitting for your blog.
The ascent psalms of 120-134 (15 total)
“This psalm calls to a life of complete trust. The affirmation of faith, “I will lift up my eyes.” Faith looks up, beyond the limitations of the self and human resources, and trusts the heavenly Father who alone does all things well. Instead of looking out at our circumstances in fear, let us look up in faith!”
Hey Divas! You guys were all on point, and so tied in together.
First, you have to CHOOSE to face your fears (says Julia).
Second, you have to be pursposeful and appropriate in your actions (thanks Pittershawn)
Third, you have to have faith that you will prevail (courtesy Khadejah)
I don’t put much store in coincidences. Your responses and the order in which they arrived speaks volumes and reminds me that my job as a writer is to write from the heart if I want to connect. I almost didn’t write this particular post. Now, I am so glad that I did.
Djuanna´s last blog post..Mike and Suzanne work for Diddy and Jerrell goes home.
Hey Djuanna…I’m glad you did also as fear is top of my mind for so many folks today.