Comments on: Is Being a Single Parent an Option For Me?

By: APOOO

APOOO — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 18:41:21 +0000

Great advice Rhonda and Susan thanks for stopping by and sharing!

By: Susan

Susan — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 17:38:27 +0000

I agree with you Raven. I am a single parent but I wasn’t single when I became a parent though, again I agree with the parents out there, I love my children to death, but if i didn’t marry , I would not have had children either, both of my parents were in the house (as a matter of fact, it will be 45 years Feb.’09). I personally believe in a 2 parent household, but if there is a 1 parent household as long as the children get the most love and best care possible. Don’t listen to what others say. I used to say to people after I first got married and they were asking about children, I would say “when the good LORD sees fit” and if you have a problem with that, then you should take it up with HIM” that shut a lot of mouths. But for real, I have 2- I will be more than happy to share. LOL

By: Rhonda McKnight

Rhonda McKnight — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 16:50:40 +0000

This is an interesting discussion. It has some similarities to the one I’m having in my home right now. My son is 17, he’s 6’4 and about 230 lbs. All day in school and everywhere we go people stop him and ask him what position he plays in football, how’s your team doing, who you playing for, it’s endless. I don’t care where we go, the mall the movies, out to dinner, people stop him and ask. He is not playing sports, hasn’t for 3 years because he’s had three knee surgeries, one that reconstructed his entire knee. We’re praying for healing, but right now his knee is just shot. He recently tried out for basketball and the pain this kid went though emotionally and physically was just unbearable. I’ve talked to him about it and although he admits he loves sports, lives, breathes and eats them, some of his desire to make the team was just to shut people up. I had a real heart to heart with him about pressure from people. People who don’t care anything about you. They may ask you what team you play for and no matter what your answer is, the second they walk away, they’ve forgotten you. They don’t really care about you as a person, so you can’t continue to give them the power to make you feel like less of a person because you don’t meet their expectations.

I’m sure you are making the right decision for your life. Stay strong.

By: Sylvia Hubbard

Sylvia Hubbard — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 13:45:45 +0000

take it from a single parent of three Raven when I say it’s worth the wait to experience the joy of raising kids with someone.

I love my kids until the meat falls of their bones and if I had to make a decision again to have them out of wedlock, then I would still say yes again. Because i didn’t make a mistake, i made a choice.

But not only do i feel that they would have benefited a lot from a constant two parent home but I would have benefitted as well.

just a rambling from blogger how to love a black woman
Sylvia

By: APOOO

APOOO — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 14:46:09 +0000

Linda, two weeks…rotlfmao…did you ever tell us about that marriage?

By: Linda Chavis

Linda Chavis — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 10:27:56 +0000

I agree with you that people need to mind thier own business when it comes to issues such as children or even marriage. I married a man because I was tired of people telling me “why arent you married? You gay? What’s wrong with you?” WHEW. Now I thought I liked this man enough to marry him but as it turns out he was not the one and after 2 weeks I knew I was getting a divorce. And you know what is funny, now when I say Im divorced, no one has shyet to say. Geesh

By: Ms. Toni

Ms. Toni — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 02:49:42 +0000

Raven, I'm right beside you in the trenches. Being a single parent is not an option for me either and I wish people would respect that instead of acting like I said something in another language when I say it's because I'm not married. Ms. Toni´s last blog post..OOSA Online Book Club gave 5 stars to: How I Made the Angels Cry

By: Darnetta

Darnetta — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 22:14:39 +0000

Great article Raven! Do you cause no one else can Darnetta´s last blog post..That's what you get for thinking...

By: Raven

Raven — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 21:44:22 +0000

Wow! Ladies, thanks for all the positive feedback. I am always worried about such pieces because I do know that our community has a 70% rate of single parents. My intention is never to step on toes but to give my God honest opinion. And many many times that will fall outside of the “norm” of what we see and experience within our community. I am so glad that so many of you feel me on this.

By: Lena Willis

Lena Willis — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 20:26:43 +0000

Although I am a single mother now, it’s not a role I picked. Being a kid of divorce, I would never pick that for my children as well. Being educated and a professional has nothing to do with it, your kids still miss out. I want that for my children and I commend you for holding out until you get that without thinking that you need to settle for less than that. It’s not fair to you or your children. I agree with the others, that this post needs to reach the masses.