TGIF and the Week in Review!
By Free Flow Friday • Jul 25th, 2008 • Category: Free Flow Friday •
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Whew, what a week!
Lots of highs and lows.
Yesterday was especially emotional because baby girl had to have surgery. She was under for almost two hours, cyst was bigger than anticipated, but she came through with flying colors. After sleeping for several hours, now she’s up and on the laptop. Laying down on her stomach of course. LOL. We go back to visit Dr. Alvear on Monday to get clearance…but she can’t do anything very strenuous for five weeks. No competitive cheerleading, no gymnastics…basically he wants her to be a bump on the log. I think that’s going to get old real quick…lol.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
Anyone follow CNN’s Black in America special this week? If you haven’t shared your thoughts, please feel free to do so in the comments section. Also, CLICK HERE for a very informative commentary regarding Six Big Things CNN Missed Regarding Being Black in America.
And what about Barack Obama? Did anyone hear his Berlin speech? What did you think?
And I have one word for McCain…JEALOUS! And you don’t look good in green!
Wendy vs. Omarosa–Hmmm what happened…I say it was a publicity stunt. What say you? If you didn’t hear or see what happened, watch the video below to find out.
Black Women–Are You Black and Single and Wondering If Marriage is Really Only for White People? CLICK HERE to read a though-provoking commentary from a young, intelligent, attractive professional African-American sister. Share your thoughts with her.
Why are my Delta girlfriends? How many of you are headed to Orlando for your National Convention?
I just looked at the People Mag cover again and I want to know why are folks buying into the hype that a man had a baby?!?!? WTF…you have a woman who was trying to become a man…but she was a woman first…a woman had a baby…it is physically impossible for a man to have a baby and it still is…until God says otherwise.
So, good peoples what’s everyone doing this weekend? Share it with APOOO.
Oh and since it’s Friday…let me leave you with something that hopefully make you chuckle…J. Anthony Brown Murders Another Hit! CLICK HERE to listen.
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Its late and I have insomnia so I may be talking(and spelling) out the side of my head, bare with me. I read the “Is Marriage for White People?” article. The author of the piece articulated what a lot of “successful” Black women are experiencing. A Lot! Why aren’t you married yet, is a question I get all the time. And my answer usually is …If you can show me where the successful: college educated, making a decent salary, un-hitched, cultured, non-homosexual, not somebody’s baby-daddy, 30 something Black men are, then I am all over it. That usually shuts them up. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Seriously, we don’t want anything MORE or LESS than any other group of women. We want a man who is a whole individual. Few “successful” sistas want to have to “reach down” to find a husband. I am so DAMN sick of people telling me I may have to revise what it is I am looking for in a man. And be willing to give the brother who delivers pizzas/wash dishes/fix cars, etc. a chance. After all he has a J-O-B right?? Or look for a divoreced or widowed older Black man. Why is it so hard to make folk understand that we want someone who is compatable, on all levels. If I say my favorite classic movie is “Casablanca”, I don’t want to hear him say his is “Friday After Next”. And on the flip side I don’t want to have to be a size 2, hair down to my butt with green contact lenses, and rely upon light skin to snag a Black man who does fit my “qualifications”.
There are serious issues within the black community regarding family, fidelity, personal responsibility, and commitment. There are waaayyy too many of us who do not have examples of a healthy married life. Too many without examples of how to be in a healthy loving relationship. Its not completely hopeless by any means. But I know that when I do decide to start back dating I won’t cheat myself out of anything, just to say I have a man. I won’t rationalize that oh he at least have a JOB and is taking care of ALL of his children, so that makes him a good catch, right? No, for me like any other woman, I am going to go after the guy I want with the characteristics/qualifications I want. I would love it if its within the Black community but I won’t limit myself. I won’t compromise and I won’t buy into the notion that because I want what I want I may end up alone. There is a big world out there and I know that I don’t have to settle to be happy. I honestly think that I am worth it.
First, I am so glad that Lauren is doing well, I know how mamas get when it comes to the babies…
I watched the first night of Black in America, I tried to watch last night but fell asleep, have a mixed bag of feelings about, still sorting them out. Yes I did hear bits of Obama’s speech, awesome. As someone who will be married thirty years on August 4th, I’m going to have to say that marriage is for all women. however, many of my same age and younger friends aren’t sure if they will ever marry…too few prospects or sameness as mentioned above…
And you are so right, a man didn’t get pregnant, a confused woman, who looks like a man did…sheesh!
Blessings,
angelia
I’m glad everything went well for your daughter. My son had 2 knee surgies in one year, the first havng him in bed for 8 weeks and on crutches for another 4, it was not fun for a 13 yr old and very stressful for his pregnant, sick mother. I would not go back to that year of my life.
I have nothing to say about the Black America piece, other than it was horribly disappointing on all levels.
Obama’s speech was incredible. They chided him for making a presidential speech, they don’t get it, that man knows he’s the next president and he’s walking in his destiny. Work it, Barack! Do yo thang.
Raven–Well said and I share your sentiments…because I honestly believe that if you start settling before you say I Do you will continue to have to do it after you say it. And why can’t we have our cake and eat it too. We don’t tell brothers who have it going on to adjust their expectations so why do we tell our girls/women that they must. Now, I do have a disclaimer, if a woman doesn’t have everything that she’s looking for in a brotha, then she does need to adjust her standards…I can’t be 20 pounds overweight and out of shape and say I want a fly brother…that’s unrealistic. I can’t say I want a brotha making six figures but I’m only making $20K…that’s unrealistic. But, I’m so there, we want what ANY woman wants in a relationship…and it ain’t got nothing to do with skin color. And, if we know we’re a good catch, then I say DON’T SETTLE and to thine own self be true. Single women can be HAPPY without a man and you should not let anyone tell you otherwise. I know a WHOLE BUNCH OF MISERABLE married women who’s husbands are abusive and disrepectful…sorry but if a man is out there cheating on you with any Jane, Diane or Henrietta…and he ain’t wrapping it up…and coming home and sleeping with you too…yes he’s disrespectful in more ways than one…and honestly ain’t worth the headache and tears he’s putting you through. All of deserve better than a piece of man…oh and that itch…that’s why they make toys (and maintenance/tune up men…just don’t go marrying them…lol.)
Angelia–Hello and happy Friday and yes marriage is for all women…now if we could just find enough good men for all the good women out there who want to be married…sigh.
Rhonda–I HEARD THAT…hear, here!
I did watch the first part of the CNN Series and for the most part it was not what I was expecting…I guess the most disappointing part was the “Marry Your Baby Daddy” segment – Let me be the first to say that I am NOT judging what the lady is doing and since I don’t know all of the details outside of what she showed in the 10 minute segment, I will not say anything negative, however, that is all that I heard when I got back to work the next day, my African American co-workers found it demeaning and/or embarrasing and my Caucasian co-workers found it hilarious – I am curious to find out what others out there in the literary world thought about that segment…
Now for Barack Obama, this man is the TRUTH…He did his thang!!!!!!!! I am so happy for him, he is surely walking in his destiny, he speaks with such confidence and pride. He pulls you in and demands your attention. He is getting himself lined up for his destiny…John McCain is running scared with his JEALOUS self!!! Satan is at every corner, but Barack has this covered!!!
Blessings to All!!!
Hiyah!
Amen to your words. All of ‘em. I don’t understand the hype about that man/girl with the baby. The more hype they get about this—the more copycats will follow suit.
Glad your daughter is fine..hope she gets some rest!
Enjoy your Weekend!
Yas, Glad your daughter is doing better. No myspace for her huh (lol). Didn’t watch the black in America either night. I sometimes get pissed because those things are watered down. What is it really to be black in America? Humph? Yeah, about the lady/man/lady pregnancy thing. OMG why go through the hormonal changes to look like a man if you wanted to bear a child all along? I don’t have a problem with gays but I hate when the one mate imulates the opposite sex. Seriously, be yourself.
Ebony,
I agree, but the issue is that it’s more common in the AA community for a women to be raising 5 kids with no husband.
The second night was NOT better.
Yes, the site is very nice, Yasmin. Don’t know if I told you, just been enjoying it.
Shaye–Hiyah right backatcha!
Ms. Puddyn–Agree…seriously be yourself!
Ebony–Thanks so Much! Excellent point about being 29 with five kids…that’s 3 too many kids for anyone!
Zephanie–Marry Your Baby Daddy didn’t bother me…what bother’s me is that we have so many mama and baby daddies…not living in the same household or WORKING TOGETHER TO RAISE THEIR KIDS. I believe our kids have a hard road to hoe in America just because they’re born Black…and when one parent is absent in their lives it just makes it a lot harder.
Rhonda–Love your comment about just enjoying it…and I’m glad you are as that’s one of my primary goals for the new site…to get others to visit and come back often because there’s something there that piques their interest!
Keep on enjoying it!
First of all… I LOVE THE SITE!! It ooks GREAT!!!
TGIF! TGIF! TGIF!
I think day one of the show didn’t deal with “black” issues but with issues that could affect anyone. I mean seriously…if you’re struggling to raise 5 kids at the age of 29…you’re not struggling because you’re black…you’re struggling because you have 5 kids you can’t afford and you’re only 29. You could be blackm white or purple with that problem. I heard the 2nd night was much better.
I have to say, “Marry Your Baby Daddy” was the only segment that got me thinking. My thoughts were along these lines, how could a program encourage a young man to marry a woman that he didn’t already have the desire to marry, because in my experience, either a man loves you enough to pop the question or he doesn’t. So I was confused by the concept and it stayed on my mind yesterday until the light bulb came on. This may sound naive on my part, but I grew up in a middle class home, with two parents and I live a middle class lifestyle now, or I did before my gas went up to $4.10 a gallon (ugh), so allow me to be naive here. The reason the program probably worked is because the “idea of marriage” might have been a foreign concept to them. You know, like, they’ve never seen people actually living married before, that’s why the introduction to marriage through the program worked. It’s so simple, but really, I didn’t get it. This just goes to show that programs really can work and they’re needed in our community. They are the village that raises the children when the single parents can’t do it all.
I work in human services, have for 15 years and sometimes we who do this type of work feel like we’ve made our contribution at work, but that’s not true. The program got me thinking about what I could do to be a part of the solution. So I’ll keep you updated when my lightbulb comes on.
Hey Rhonda that’s a wonderful take on the idea…I hope you can work with it and through it…please share when your lightbulb comes on.
xoxo
Whew! Where do I begin. First, glad to know your little lady is doing well. God is good.
Okay, I thought I was going to be better with lasts night episode but one hour into the program I found myself focusing on the fact that the light-complected (lol) folks are always the ones doing well and making good choices, and then it is always the dark-complected folks acking a fool. Then Dr. Dyson and his brother touch on the subject and I am like, okay but CNN just did it again. This is the oldest sterotype of all and I am sick of it.
Now, I thought the piece on the brother looking for a job was quite accurate.
I did not understand why they touched on HIV the first night but not last night (or did I miss it?) I mean come on, it is more likely that a man will pass the virus to a woman than a woman to a man, so why ignore it last night. It makes Black women look permiscuous (sp?) and unclean and the cause of the problem.
“Marry Your Baby Daddy” so ignorant. I didn’t even want to touch on it. Someone said earlier, if the man didn’t want to marry you before what is going to make this union work. More than likely you are going to end up with a broken home and a woman and child(ren) more emotionally damaged.
The answer to single parent homes in the AA community and any other community is to stop having babies out of wedlock. Recognize who your partner is. Seriously, if a man has kids from other women and is not doing the right thing, why would you be so stupid as to lay up and give him another one. If you have a baby from one sorry fool why didn’t you learn from the experience, why didn’t you see the same character in the next fool you had a baby from?
AA’s in prison. Remember that saying, “you live what you learn?” I got to thinking last night, yes there are a million AA men in prison, but what about the millions who aren’t. What if we focused on those doing the right thing so our Black boy’s will stop looking at prison as a right of passage.
Education…Oh Lawd help us please. Someone posted last night that their father had a third grade education but that didn’t stop him from being a good husband and father. How many of us have that story. My dad left school in 6th grade to work on the family farm. My parents celebrated their 45th anniversary on July 6th. My mom was also a business professional, my dad worked for the comapny that made the Yellow Pages and later for GTE/Verizon when the printing company was sold. My parents worked for the same companies 33 and 40 years. There is just no excuse for the demise in education amongst AA children. Bottom line, people need to stop having kids they aren’t going to raise. I can’t even begin to imagine my child saying school ain’t for me. They did several studies here and found that AA boys check-out mentally from the education process in the 3rd garde. So if your child is showing signs of struggling during this period he probably will not make it. Just sad.
Charles Barkley was on the pre-show and I had to applaud the brother. He said he can see our parents carrying the bruises of injustices from the 60′s and earlier, but it is 2008 and we need to stop crying racism and take accountibility for our own actions. Stop committing crimes and you won’t go to jail. Stay in school and get your education and after it is all said and done if you can’t get a job then you have may have a claim of injustice. Women stop having babies you can’t take care of from men you know will not be good fathers.
I didn’t appreciate how they skimmed over the problems of Gangsta Rap either.
I guess the bottom line is there is just too much that needed to be covered and too little time to cover it. I think this project was too big for the box Soledad was forced to place it in and in the end she ended up doing it disservice. What we ended up with was 4 hours of stereotype highlights, and no solutions. I’m pissed and other folks still don’t get it.
Hey Lisa…feeling you on Wendy and Omarosa esp. since I think it was as publicity stunt…sigh.
Wendy and Omarosa- that was the funniest mess I’ve seen all week. Two egomaniacs going at it.
Obama-getting on with the business of change. They hatin’!
Will read the marriage article later- you know I have mixed reviews about that institution. LOL
Djuanna’s last blog post..Tired…
Oh Obama, yeah, well I say the brother is “claiming it.” I told my daughter that I actually feel sorry for McCain. He looks so insignificant in comparison to Obama’s “World Tour.” Can you believe 200,000+ showed up to hear this man’s speech. Unfortunately, I was watching CNN and the latest polls show his lead has slipped from 6 points to 3, over McCain.
I also told my daughter that it must be killing him on the inside being a 73(?) year old White man whose legacy will end up being that he was the first White man to lose a presidential bid to a Black man.
Khadejah–THANKS SO MUCH for stopping by and leaving comments.
Okay…yep why was HIV not mentioned at all last night…esp. since brothas need to hear the message as much maybe even more!
Marry Your Baby Daddy…okay I never took it serious so it didn’t leave an impact on me in the show either…actually wait…I was like…are you for real…I thought that was just the title of a FICTIONAL book…lol. Whatever…I’m indifferent regarding the subject matter.
SAY IT AGAIN SIS!
For the record, there are more AfAm males in COLLEGE than in jail…and it’s sad that most folks including black folks don’t know this! In fact a higher percentage of Black vs. White men attend college…unfortunately fewer of our men matriculate!
AGREE and I know black folks…especially Black Women don’t want to hear this…but until we realize we are PART of the problem…what fighting chance can we give to a child if we can’t take care of them and keep having them to take care of by our lonesome…women we do have the power to just SAY NO or use protection because ultimately we are the ones left holding the bag. No women should have more children than she can talk care of by her LONESOME…and for some women that would be ZERO!
CONGRATS to your parents on 45 years and still counting!
Hmmm Charles and I don’t always see eye to eye but sometimes he says something that makes sense!
I agree…once again all we saw were the problems…no solutions…and other folks talking about ‘po black folks’ or ‘ig’nant black folks.’ I would have much appreciated if she would have featured Blacks from ALL socio-economic classes…and showed how each of them overcame obstacles to make it in today’s world. Heck I would have loved to have heard how Fryer made it out of Florida and his environment to land at Harvard University.
Just like so many black folks believe that there are more black men in jail than in college…there are too many folks who believe that most of us are downtrodden unless we’re an athlete or celebrity and that is clearly not the case…I mean just look at us!
xoxo
Lisa–rotflamo thinking about John McCain. I need to go and see if I can find the video on YouTube.
Hey Diva D…understand you having mixed review regarding that institution…and although you’re a single parent…you still understand how the process works.
Khadejah…rotflmao ooo that would be too much to be a white man who loses the highest office in the country to a BLACK MAN…and 200K folks…that was 100K more than projected…WOW.
Ok…
First of all, I am glad your baby came out of surgery succesfully and the prayers will continue on her recovery. And yeah that being still for that long post-surgery – been there, almost had to be strapped down, lol!!
Watched Obama speak in Berlin…WOW. That was all I was saying in between his speaking…sitting in front of the television like a kid watching her favorite cartoon show(could not get my attention if you had a flare gun or a taser pointed in my direction)! Then got zoned out some more getting on the computer and finding the archive of John F. Kennedy’s speech in Germany before I was even born…the history being made now is amazing!
Woman giving birth to a baby who changed into a man…her ass still a woman…period!
Wendy Williams and Omarosa……..
moving on, have to find the People magazine issue with the Obamas to read their story.
oh I watched 10 minutes of part two of the CNN series.
and after that, went outside and sat on the porch until the mosquitos ran me back inside(an hour later)
had so many topics I forgot about the marriage thing…
well if it happens for me then yay…if not…I am not going to get strapped and placed in a rubber room.
and John McCain…all I can think of is Jon Stewart’s take on who is getting the most attention. On one of his shows they did a promo shot of Obama depicting him as a god or a roman soldier traveling on tour in these countries, attaching his head on various characters(funny as hell).
when he did a promo on McCain I nearly fell to the floor…Mccain’s head attached to a male body walking the streets slinging a fifth of whatever down his throat to the song “All by Myself.” the rest of the promo had me screaming in laughter…you would have to see it to get the joke…they may have it on Youtube.
Happy Friday…Glad baby girl came through surgery ok and will send up prayers that she doesn’t work your one good nerve!
The site looks beautiful
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As written by AJ ‘The A Spot’:
Barack Obama had 200,000 folks show up for his speech in Berlin. Is that not bananas or what? He’s also expected to attract record numbers today. It seems Senator Obama is already healing the international scar that Dubya and his minions created with their unilateral approach to dealing with international issues and the war for oil on terror.
Meanwhile, John McCain went grocery shopping with an undecided voter. *yawn*
The media(read: Republican spin machine) is criticizing Obama for acting cocky and behaving like he’s the President. McCain has also been whining about his lack of media coverage. He said it’s unfair for Senator Obama to get this much press while he’s being virtually ignored.
I say, quit whining and suck it up war hero. Obama is MAKING NEWS old guy. It ain’t just ‘happening’. You are GROCERY SHOPPING grandpa. G-R-O-C-E-R-Y shopping. Who cares?
Furthermore, with the uber-rich heiress of a stepford wife you have, you have NO IDEA what goes on in the life of an average American.
So as for being ignored by the media, deal with it.
I will add this. Although a lot of media coverage is good for Barack right now, the media will turn on him QUICK AS HELL if he slips up and says something wrong.
Word to the elitist comments.
So far, so good. Obama, you’re campaigning like a true statesman.
By the way, if the elections were held today, Obama is leading 44% to Grampy’s 41%.
Enough about politics!
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On Black In America…The poet was a friend of mines (Jon Goode) so I watched to support him…several posters before me broke it down much better then I ever could…it’s wasn’t Balanced and could have very well been ‘Anyone In America’ not just Blacks!
As an HIV/AIDS Activist I was pissed about the one message they put out there…again I say where was the Balance?
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Woman who dresses like a Man had a baby…Period!
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Wendy vs. Omarosa…Staged! (but Wendy does need a new wig…LOL)
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J Anthony is a mess
Starr Lisa thanks for breaking it down point-by-point and adding your signature humor where necessary. Granddaddy grocery shopping…lol. Wendy needs a new wig and ain’t J Anthony a mess…hehe.
On a serious note…Balance is the keyword for today.