Thursday Thirteen, Home Alone
By APOOO • Jan 14th, 2009 • Category: Thursday Thirteen •
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Thirteen Things about MY CHILD WHO WANTS TO STAY HOME ALONE…OVERNIGHT.
- Hubby and I are going to an event which will require us to spend two nights away from home.
- It was supposed to be a family event, but our teenage, high-school age son has decided he doesn’t want to travel with us.
- Son would prefer to stay home. He is making the argument to stay home alone, overnight while we’re away.
- Growing up, as a minor, I NEVER got the chance to stay home ALONE…at least not OVERNIGHT.
- I was 17 year-olds and a college student, living away from home, 3,000 miles from home, before I ever stayed ‘home alone…overnight.’
- Although, I recall growing up with girlfriends, who were allowed to stay home (alone, overnight) as early as the age of 15.
- Was not happening with my grandmother; unless you were over the age of 18 or on your own and no longer her dependent.
- She was not concerned about us, per se, but, who else would be in her house while she was away and what they would be doing.
- She was concerned if we would have friends over…would our friends include the opposite sex…if we would have parties…would our friends spend the night…would there would be alcohol, drugs, sex between unmarried folks in her house. Oh and the main concern–WOULD HER HOUSE AND THINGS BE INTACT AND THE WAY SHE LEFT THEM when she returned home;)
- In fairness to my son, and considering this as an exercises to help him develop his decision-making skills, as well as allowing him an opportunity to be independent in a somewhat controlled environment, I’m thinking about this.
- I’ve checked the laws of PA and as far as I can tell there doesn’t appear to be an age-minimum for home alone, overnight. BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN THAT A PARENT SHOULDN’T USE COMMON SENSE.
- As I type this, my son is in the background reminding me that he’s old enough to drive, old enough to drop out of school (he wouldn’t dare…he enjoys the good life too much and knows that he needs to have a good income in order to live in the lifestyle he aspires to), he can get a full-time job (albeit probably not one that will pay more than minimum wages), and during the time we’re away he has a physics exam that he would prefer to take on the scheduled day rather than postpone.
- Did I mention that he’s a very mature and responsible child?
Okay…anyone buying any of that as a reason for leaving a MINOR, home alone, overnight? LOL. On a serious note, each child is different and should be evaluated on their own merits…so check out the discussion questions below and share your answers via the comment section.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
- Were you ever allowed to stay home alone, overnight as a teen?
- If so, at what age?
- If you have children, at what age did you or will you allow your children to stay home along, overnight?
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Were you ever allowed to stay home alone, overnight as a teen? Nope…It was hard to convince my mom even after I had a child at 16. When my mother had to go to her sisters wedding in SC our cousin came over from the Bronx(she was about 40). I was about 18 at the time already a mother and I was the oldest of 4 and we could not stay home alone.
If so, at what age? I think the trip my mom took when I was about 20 was the 1st time I stayed home alone
If you have children, at what age did you or will you allow your children to stay home along, overnight? At 17 my daughter stayed home alone, but I was in the hospital and my husband had just started a new job working nights and could not get time off. But since he got home at like 2a it was not really overnight. I would trust her now at 18 and I trusted her then.
Lashonda Silver´s last blog post..Happy Founders Day to the Men of Phi Beta Sigma
Double check the PA laws. I know in Michigan it’s a vey little know law that minors are anyone under the age of 18 and in fact can not stay home alone. Most people think the law is that children can stay home alone after age 12.
Now you say your son is responsible and mature. I think you should let him. I remember my parents trusting me and my sister to stay home alone while they went to GA. We were 16 and 17. We knew the rules and the consequences if we broke the ru;les. Our friends respected that he had rules to follow and did not try to come over and get us to do things we were not supposed to.
However, it’s a different time. Is there someone close who can check on him? He can call on in case of an emergency? It’s a difficult decision. Good luck to Paul!
I remember in high school, I wanted to stay home and go to a party where my boyfriend and friends were going but I had to go with the family to our summer cabin. I was pissed. If I was allowed to stay, I would probably have stayed with a girlfriend. I don’t think they would have stayed home alone but then I don’t know for sure.
This Thanksgiving my sister and husband went to their time share in Las Vegas. My nephew had basketball practice and didn’t want to go anyway. He is 17, 18 in April. He stayed home alone from Monday through Saturday,always in touch with me or his grandmother. He is responsible. He knew better than to party. He did fine.
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Lashonda….dang your mom was worst than my grandmother…hehe.
Jeanette…I left a message for my counterpart in DPW…I’m waiting to see what she knows.
Dera…wow a whole week…okay I’m feeling more comfortable by the moment…and we do have neighbors and friends locally who can check on him while we’re away.
As one who ran away from home as early as 14, I cant help ya. I will say, I think Paul is making a BIG mistake he will regret one day.
Here is my take. When my parents had to take an emergency trip, and could not afford to take us, they used this routine. They called us at no set time after we were supposed to be in the house. We did NOT call them, they called us. (You can call from anywhere, and pretend). Then they called us back at anytime later and our butts had better be there. (we were).
Since there were no cell phones then, I would NOT call on the cell, but the house phone since you can answer a cell anywhere.
The important thing is he will have the opportunity to show how much maturity he has, or his lack, the call will be on him.
Rosa
Were you ever allowed to stay home alone, overnight as a teen? Never had to…I have two older sisters that are 6 & 5 years older than I am. So when my mother started travelling I was in my early 20′s.
If you have children, at what age did you or will you allow your children to stay home along, overnight? Just last year was the first time our children were allowed to stay home alone overnight. They were 18 and 16.
I was babysitting my 1 year old sister at 11 because my mom had to work overnight. I wish I had a choice. I did good but, I was not happy about it.
The first time I was allowed to stay at home alone, I really wasn’t allowed to. I was sixteen, my sister was eleven and my mom had gone to GA to attend a friend’s funeral. We were told to stay with my aunt, but, my aunt was acting funny, according to us, so we went home. We stayed up all night reading and watching TV with all the lights on. The next morning when my mom came home, I tried to explain…she told me she already knew because my aunt had ratted us out. She really wasn’t mad because she knew her sister, however, she did fuss at me because I didn’t call to tell her…the first time my kids were home alone all night, Maurice was eighteen and a senior in high school, Malik was twelve…I called home three times…however, when Malik was sixteen, Mench and I left him, periodically, it depends on the kid..
Blessings,
angelia
angelia
Angelia´s last blog post..When We Know Better!
Rosa–good advice; thanks much.
Sharon–who’s more mature the 18 year-old or the 16 year-old?
Lynne–WOW…that was a lot of responsibility…do you have kids today?
Angelia–thanks much…and you’re right it depends on the kid…
I had two other siblings so even if I stayed home alone…I wasn’t really alone because I would have to watch them and if I did anything they would tell–so no fun being at home alone lol
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after caring for my sister all the time believe or not i became a single mother. i had four children. i have two children that died, one at eighteen months, one at seventeen years. I have two living. one son one daughter. i also have a lot of life lessons and a lot of stories to tell. no matter what keep your head up, realize you are a child of GOD and last there a positive in every negative situation. GOD’s love to everyone
Hey Lynne…so sorry to hear about your loses…I can’t even imagine what you have been through…but thankfully you’ve come through stronger and better with God’s grace and mercy…yes we are all God’s children and in every situation there is a lesson learned.
We were allowed to stay home alone and overnight but I was raised with plenty of siblings. I think if you can trust your child..then go for it. Good luck
The 18 yr. old which is my 19 year old daughter now
I was grown before I stayed home alone, I mean seriously I went off to college first. I have a 17 year old and before this year I would not have left him at him alone. It’s more of a safety issue than a trust thing, because I trust him. He can get in trouble after school when I’m at work. With respect to my son, the issue for me was that he was alone. When kids have each other it’s better because there is someone to look out for them.
Now as for the laws, I’m going to put on my 15 years with Family and Children Services here. I would check on that age thing in your state. Chances are it’s not really in stone, because it’s one of those things that’s left up the discretion of the parents, but trust me, if something happened to a 13 yr old and the parents were out of town, child welfare and the courts would be all over it like white on rice, trying to take your kid and calling you a horrible parent. Maybe even pressing criminal charges if the right bulldog gets on it and wants to make an example of you. Really think about it and be careful. How would you explain it in front of a judge if something happened? In my opinion, not worth the risk. I know we should not live our lives in fear, but I’ve seen too many good parents get caught up in a nasty system because a politican was trying to make a name for himself, or an overzealous social worker was well connected.
* Were you ever allowed to stay home alone, overnight as a teen?
Nope, we had a babysitter until I was 19 (and I’m the oldest)
* If so, at what age?
* If you have children, at what age did you or will you allow your children to stay home along, overnight?
My daughter can stay home alone overnight when she has her own place. That’s my final answer…lol
Now, for you, I would say give it a try. If Paul is responsible, then he’ll be fine. Plus, if he messes up, then you’ll know just how responsible he really is and adjust accordingly. Tough decision, but you’ll make the right one for your family.
Darnetta´s last blog post..I’ll NEVER Accept It
Shaye, back in the day our parents didn’t know what Child Welfare was and dared us to call them.
Rhonda, I have a soror who works with DPW here and she’s advising me…
Darnetta…19 and a babysitter…LOL>
Darnette’s mom sounds like my mom….Lillie Mae did not play. She was a lot easier on that with my brother, who is 4 years younger than me. He lived in her house in SC alone while she was in NJ taking care of final arrangements to move back home and he was 19.
My babysister is 13 years younger than me and she was left home alone at 18. Yes my unlces house sits on the same acre of land as my moms, but he had his own life. She says she got soft in her old age and laughs at some of the things me and my sister 2 years younger than me remind her of.
Lashonda Silver´s last blog post..Happy Founders Day to the Men of Phi Beta Sigma
LOL AND I had a two year old at the time, so momma wasn’t playin’!
Lashonda- yeah our moms sound EXACTLY alike. I have a little sister that’s 17 years younger than me (she’s 15 now) and she’s already stayed home overnight alone. But she’s a straight A student, has a four year scholarship to Ohio State, and hasn’t had a whooping since she was about 6. The girl is one it and very, very responsible. Hell, she watches my 15 year old when I’m not at home…lol I always tease my mom about the differences in treatment. She tries to use the ‘I’m old’ excuse but she’s only 54 so I don’t buy it…lol
Darnetta´s last blog post..I’ll NEVER Accept It