It Is Time to Reclaim Me by Rambling Raven
By Raven • Dec 8th, 2009 • Category: Rambling Raven •
Email This Post
• 
Print This Post
It Is Time to Reclaim Me by Rambling Raven
I finally joined the rest of the world and logged on to Facebook. I searched and found many people from the past. It was both exhilarating and a little sad to see so many people who were once a part of my life, but who eventually became nothing more than a passing thought. I saw profiles of people from college, high school and grade school. The one profile that made me sit upright was that of my best friend from junior high. There for the first time in more than twenty years was the face of Karry Ann staring at me. She looked exactly like she did when I last saw her the summer of our eight grade year. The only difference was that in place of the pubescent acne and an unsure smirk was a strong beautiful, confident smile. From the smile alone, Karry Ann looked as if all the dreams and hopes she use to confide in my about had finally come true. And it made all the dreams and hopes I had once upon a time ago come galloping back to me. Wow, so much time has passed. Karry Ann’s face reminded me of all the things I wanted and wished for and how they were put on the back burner of life until they slowly fizzled out. I know that life happens, but after my walk down memory lane via Facebook, I realized just how much of mine I let passed by.
With God’s willing I will see yet another year come to a close and a new one begin. My friends’ faces on Facebook got me to thinking of all the things that I should put closure to and all the things I should begin in the New Year. However, I know deep down that most of those things will just end up as another “To Do List”, a list where most items won’t get crossed off and in time will be forgotten. No, this New Year I want to do something totally different. I want to reclaim me.
I feel as if I have spent so much time with my nose to the grindstone that somewhere along the way I lost me. I have become so wrapped up in being what others thought I should be that I forgot exactly what it was I wanted to be. For the better part of the last ten years I feel as if I have been walking in quicksand. I haven’t begun to write that novel I so desperately want to write or travel to those places I use to dream of going to. I am in a career that I struggle day to day to find fulfillment and joy. I feel as if I have been living to please others before I please myself. Somewhere through it all I lost the little girl inside who sought excitement and adventure. The little girl whose zest for life kept me hoping and dreaming and wishing. Now, I have to reclaim her from the daily grind that often leaves me exhausted and unfulfilled. This coming New Year, I will seek to reclaim all that I am and all that I wanted to be. I will seek to regain the light I use to have by getting back to the things that I loved doing and to shed all that keeps me from being the person I want to be. I will reclaim my health, my sense of adventure and my sense of self. I will reclaim me.
Related Posts
Raven is an educator with a B.A. in Psychology and a M.A. in Education. She has been an avid reader since childhood. Her favorite genres are mystery, suspense, and horror, although she will give any genre a try. She is a life long resident of Chicago. Her love of books opened her mind to people, places and events far beyond her Chicago home. Reading helped to shape her world and her opinion of the events that took place within it. No matter what demands her career requires of her, she has always found time to read and write in a journal. Along with reading and journaling, she loves to watch the sunset, and discuss hot topics with family and friends. She loves baseball, horror movies, mysteries, listening to music from every corner of the world and expressing her view of the latest books with the women of APOOO.
Email this author | All posts by Raven
Get New Posts via Email
Ditto! You hit the nail on the head. Time to reclaim me.
Dera´s last blog ..Back to Memory Monday
For so many years I have not taken care of me and have been there for others, just as you have been. I am not waiting until the new year, I have already begun to reclaim myself and it feels great. I might not have the money to do the things I want to right now, like travel to romantic places, a tummy tuck, and other things, but I do have family and freinds. They realize that I am reclaiming me and are supportive. All I need now is the right man to share my life with and I will be ok.
Thanks for writing about the things I want to say but don’t!
Very good post. I can relate all too well. It’s amazing how the have to(s) of life can drain us of the very essence of who were are. I’m on my on journey of reclaiming me.
Stephanie, even if you don’t find that man, you will be okay. That’s a part of reclaiming yourself, being secure abd happy in whatever state you find yourself, single or with a partner.
Dera´s last blog ..Back to Memory Monday
Good for you Raven. Enjoy the trip as you go…..
Thank you ladies for understanding where I am coming from. Stephanie, I am learning that it is okay to fly solo. I think that once I am complete within myself everything else will follow, and even if it doesn’t my life will be just fine. I had to laugh at an e-mail I sent to my aunt. I told her of the little bundle of joy that my sister and her husband were expecting. And she e-mailed me back stating that she wished that it was me. This same aunt use to make me feel bad because she always wanted to know when was it all going to happen for me. I have since come to the conclusion that that is her issue and hangups, not mine. I would love to have a family one day but if it doesn’t happen for me I can’t let that define my life. Joy comes from within and I can’t look for others to bring it about.
Preach Raven and I wonder why folks are so hung up on other people getting married…marriage is a lot of work and just like kids it ain’t for everyone and that’s okay! It’s a new day and a new time and women can take care of themselves. We no longer need to depend on men for support…of course if we have it it’s nice…but a whole bunch of women are taking care of men just so they can say they have one and that’s foul.